Emotionally Strained

I never knew what it would be like to be emotionally strained, but now I do.

I just don't understand how I came to be like this. I didn't had a break up, I'm not sick, I'm...

Today, I had this really suffocating feeling in me. I woke up with the most confusing dream. Not only was it freaking me out, it was kind of making me sad. Maybe all the thinking I had before I went to bed last night caused it.

To make this worse, Hotlink decided to join in and make my life even more fucked up. My SIM card was inactive the whole day. I couldn't called Yion to let her know what time I'm going to college. I couldn't contact Nicholas so that I could take some stuff from him. Luckily, I could borrow my Aunt's phone.

Fine, I called the Hotlink hotline. 1-300-820-120. Can someone call this number and tell me whether is it still busy? The first couple of time I called, it was OK, but no-bloody-one picked up the phone. I have to listen to the fishing "Satu Malaysia" (Not the Hitz. one, the other one) over and over again. If that's not bad enough, when I tried calling later, it's been busy ever since.

I was this close to losing it, but luckily my Tweet buddy accompanied me and brought my mood down to normal.

Then, it came back, the bloody moody feeling that's tugging at my stomach. It didn't help that I found out I was yet again in your shadow, bested by everything you had done. The whole thing is really suffocating me. I can't be like this anymore.

I can't keep up with this facade with no one supporting me. Everything seemed superficial to me. Nothing's real.